How to Make New Friends

“A friend is one of the best things you can be and the greatest things you can have”

- Sarah Valdez -

According to a 2018 study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, it takes adults approximately 94 hours to convert acquaintances into casual friends, and an average of 219 hours to convert casual friends into good friends. Making new friends becomes difficult when you factor in post-lockdown social anxiety as well. There are some easy common sense tips for making new friends, and like most new things, the hardest part is just starting!

First step, join local Facebook groups. Create a generic message like this: "Hello, I've recently relocated here and am looking to meet other like-minded individuals! I'm X years old, originally from X country/city, and I work as X. Please let me know if you want to go for coffee or check out some bars." Even if you are not new to the city, you can always reach out via Facebook groups and find a number of people willing to get coffee or invite you to various gatherings, especially if you give details about yourself like your interests and hobbies.

Make it unique to you. Bars and coffee are generic, but activities make it even easier to make friends. Even if fitness isn’t your thing, consider joining a hiking, biking, or running group. Many of these groups are actually organized around the concept of meeting new people and socializing, and many people manage to combine fitness with alcohol via pub crawls or local events. Yes you might technically be in some version of athleisurewear, but the most effort you’ll have to make is walking down the block to the next bar. Of course there are legions of “dry” options, but meeting new people is nerve wracking and may require some liquid courage, hence the prevalence of such practices.

To find Facebook groups, simply type the name of your city followed by terms like newbies, expats, foreigners, or whatever activity into Facebook. It's worth noting that if you are female, get used to receiving some DM’s from guys who probably aren’t looking for just friendship. When you go to make plans, most genuine people will respond to the Facebook post by moving to another medium of communication like text or inviting you to join their slack group. Prioritize these people over unsolicited DM’’s. Check to see if any of the Facebook groups have their own Whatsapp groups, Slack or Discord channels. These are better for on-the-spot events, and encourage more lively dialog.

Meetup is perhaps the biggest and most recognized site for well, meeting up. Meetup allows people with similar interests to organize online groups that host in-person and virtual events. These events are usually designed to be re-occurring, such as a weekly hike, or a board game night. Groups are associated with one of 30+ categories and any number of over 18,000 tags. Most events take place on a weekly or monthly basis at a local venue, typically on evenings or weekends, though as a result of the Covid-19 pandemic, there has been a shift towards online events. There are approximately 40 million Meetup users currently, and finding friends is one of the main themes of the platform. Meetup searches for “friends” reached an all-time high in 2021, and became the most-searched term, surpassing popular terms like "hiking" and "career groups." There are approximately 225,000 Meetup groups in 180 countries as of 2017. Approximately 140,000 organizers run Meetup groups. Organizers form groups, plan events, and create event content. They also pay a fee to run the group, usually with the expectation that members who attend events will share the cost. The monthly fees are $14.99 USD if your group has up to 50 members and 3 co-organizers, or $19.99 USD monthly for no restrictions.

Eventbrite is a popular Meetup alternative, and is a social platform for hosting and registering events. You can create an event, set up seating and ticket pricing (although you don’t have to charge), and then spread the word via social media to draw a crowd in a few simple steps. Users can also register for events by searching Eventbrite's search engine for events near them, of a specific type, or filter by budget. Though Eventbrite isn't designed for regular group meetings, it can bring people together who share common interests. It also makes it simple to sell tickets and track fees online. It’s a great place to find more indie and local events, not just the most advertised concerts and shows.

Friender could be the way you meet your future partner in fun things, whether you're looking for a workout buddy or a purely platonic pal to paint the town with. Fill out an introductory survey in which you select the activities you're most interested in, and the app will suggest people who match at least one of those activities. It’s a free app, but you’ll need to upgrade to the premium version if you want to use the location services. The premium version also allows you to have an unlimited number of swipes and see who has already expressed an interest in becoming your friend. Premium subscriptions begin at $6 per month.

Tribefy is location based, but has additional search filters so you can filter by age, gender, or activities. Just like long distance dating, finding a compatible friend is made easier with proximity. Tribefy was particularly helpful for Ukrainian refuges abroad as a result from the war, (and was created by a Ukranian developer) although people of all backgrounds use the app.

Friended is an app that helps break the ice. It can be awkward at times to simply begin messaging potential new friends online. Friended solves this potential hurdle with interactive activities like video chat, guessing games, and quizzes. Just like irl, this creates something to engage with to facilitate the conversation. Friended also has a "community" feature, where you can post a public conversation starter to meet new people. The app is free, but you can upgrade to a premium subscriptions for $8 per week.

FriendFinder is an app for making new friends and connecting with people who share your interests. It also fosters a strong sense of community by offering a variety of forums where you can meet potential friends. FriendFinder claims to have thousands of active members to chat with on their website. While the app is primarily used by men, women can still use it to make meaningful connections. Furthermore, the majority of users are between the ages of 30 and 50, making this a great place to meet some more mature people. You can also be confident that FriendFinder takes security seriously and verifies every profile.

Patook is a relatively new app (released in 2016) that is attempting to crack the difficult feat of remotely sparking friendships. It describes itself as a "strictly platonic friend making app." Patook's main tech trick aims to emphasize its friends-only mission: it uses Natural Language Processing to power a "flirt detection feature" that prevents users from crossing the platonic line. You may believe that simply labeling your app as a strictly platonic friend making app will suffice to keep people from getting the wrong idea. However, especially for women, it can get frustrating to see friend-finder apps infiltrated by men looking for a “friends with benefits” situation. The app solves this with strict language rules. Anything that is even a tad more than strictly platonic is outright forbidden. Patooks founder boasts that more than 5% of users who attempted to join were barred before their first message was even delivered. This extreme focus on platonic language can be quite the relief for some who are tired of flirting and hookup culture infiltrating every social media site.

Peanut is specifically geared for mothers that is also location based. The app suggests women with similar-age children in your neighborhood, making it an easy way to meet mom friends, seek parenting advice, and join mom-versations. If you are trying to conceive, there is also a community for that.

Momlife was designed to relieve moms from the isolation of caring for children and connect them with other local moms. According to the site's description, the brand takes pride in providing a judgment-free safe space for moms to meet other moms, get advice, and build the support system that every mom requires.

Pawdates makes it possible to set up play dates with local dog-owners to give your dogs, and you, some much needed companionship. Premium subscriptions are $3 per month.

Atleto matches fitness enthusiasts based on their location, skill level, and frequency of workouts. You can use the app to join an existing group (softball team, running club) or to host your own sport activity. Working out with a partner has multiple benefits and is shown to increase your overall results.

Nextdoor is a localized social networking app that is your window into everything going on in your neighborhood, whether it's block parties, furniture swaps, or car break-ins. It’s basically a gossip message board. It is particularly relevant for lost pets, and many an errant animal has found its way home thanks to good neighbors. The app is more than just a news source; it encourages in-person meetings, which leads to new friendships.

Hey! VINA was created to empower women through female friendship. VINA has been dubbed "the Tinder for girlfriends." Similar to a dating app, you swipe left and right on potential lady friends based on proximity, mutual friends, and quiz data. When you match, the app suggests a meeting location, such as a hiking trail or a wine bar.

Bumble's BFF seems like a logical extension of a dating app geared toward women. The popular BFF mode is a way for women to meet other women who are looking for friends. Bumble does it all, whether you're looking for friends, dating, or expanding your professional network. Simply upload a photo of yourself, and include a caption. Based on what you're looking for and your specific profile, Bumble will pair you with friends of the opposite or same gender.

Zoosk, which has over 40 million members, can be one of the best free sites for making friends. If you prefer to look for love/hookups without being bombarded with advertisements, the premium version starts at just $12 per month. Zoosk is ideal for "pick your own adventure" casual dates. If you're looking for love or serious dates, there's the "Smart Pick Technology" feature, which is a special algorithm designed to find you your perfect match in terms of personality and values. On top of that, this hookup app has the novel feature of "Zoosk Coins" and "Virtual Gifts," which allow you to send digital gifts to potential matches in order to entice them.

Join Groups Such As:

• Any sports group or club: softball, volleyball, ect

• Running or Hiking groups

• Classes in yoga/meditation

• Dance lessons

• Fitness groups or gyms such as cross-fit

• Craft classes such as Knitting, ceramics, textiles, painting and other art related group activities

• Volunteering

• Book & Film Clubs - Broaden your mind, and make new friends

• Tours - Local tours are not just for tourists, they are a great way to get to know your own city and meet people

• Wine, Beer, & liquor tastings - hosted by vineyards and breweries, for the connoisseur and newb alike, its a great way to learn and lets face it, get a little liquid courage to help with talking to strangers.

Dog-Walking: If you don't have a dog but want to meet some four-legged friends in your new city, try Wag! or Rover, which connect dog walkers and sitters with people who need their pets walked or sat. You'll quickly find some dog lovers who share your interests (and make a little spare cash to boot). There are several of these websites all over the world, and you can also volunteer at a rescue center.

Coffee Shop Flyers: Every coffee shop seems to have a bulletin board or table with fliers and business cards displayed. You should read it. You never know what will pique your interest — these fliers promote things like interest-based meet-up groups, local events, clubs, and organizations. You might learn about some virtual meet-ups that will be less intimidating to attend. Local coffee shops are also very connected to the pulse of a community and subscribing to their email list will not only often get you points for free coffee, but also keep you in the know about local groups and events. Even just becoming a regular at your local cafe should result in some random chit-chat. Sometimes you don’t need to make a life-long friend, a little social connection goes a long way.

Connect With a Faith Community: Finding a faith community that speaks to you can help you lay a solid foundation as you build a new life for yourself. Many people attended church as children, but fall out of the habit as they transition to adulthood. Traditions can help you feel at home, and the routine of a spiritual or religious practice can be especially soothing during a time of transition. If you're not a big fan of organized religion, you might find meaningful connections in your city at a yoga or meditation studio.

Local Radio Stations Mailing Lists: The local radio stations will keep you up to date on upcoming concerts and events and will also send you VIP exclusive deals. Radio stations and local DJ’s and talk show hosts are very involved with the community. They tend to show up for Grand Openings, festivals, faires, and also be a part of walk-a-thons and other charity fund-raising events. Follow the local personalities on social media as well for that personal connection.

Show Up: Just go - to festivals, street fairs, parades, free live music events or outdoor movie screenings. In large metro areas there’s hardly a day, much less a weekend, where there isn’t a number of free or low cost public events being held. The biggest piece of advice therapists and social influencer's dispense is: show up, even if you don’t feel like it. Get out of the house! We all know that its always harder to start doing something, especially for the first time. Once you make it to the venue or event, 9 times out of 10 you will surprise yourself by having a better time than you anticipated. You can always leave if the scene isn’t your cup of tea. Always be safe, but remember if you want to make friends, you have to put in some initial effort! Don’t worry, making new friends is definitely one of those things that gets easier with practice, and every new acquaintance and friend that you make opens up your social world. Soon you’ll be invited to events instead of just being there. That’s always a nice feeling!

Many people find it’s easiest to make new friends through current acquaintances, and personal introductions are one of the smoothest ways to expand your social circle. This translates too the process of friend-making automatically gets easier once you have an established social circle. The smaller friend-group will invite you to a larger social event, where you will have more options of meeting new people who are predisposed to connect with you based on those mutual social circles or shared interests. And of course they don’t call it “social skills” for nothing. The more you practice this skill set, the more your confidence will attract other people to you.

Airbnb is expanding beyond its core short-term rental business with the introduction of Adventures. This new social opportunity will offer tours, customized activities, and other unique experiences. Adventures has over 500 experiences that can last a few hours or several days. There are only a few cities where the service is currently available; but it’s worthwhile to visit one and try this new social experience for yourself, and of course the service is expanding. This new service undoubtedly aids in immersing visitors in authentic local culture while also opening the door to the possibility of establishing a new friendship. Thumbs up for a new, encouraging way to meet new people, socialize, and have some very unique, local experiences all at the same time.

Co-Living is where a group of mid-term travelers (those staying for a few weeks to a few months) share a space. Other guests are usually remote workers, so there is strong Wi-Fi and a workspace. These are typically occupied by young professionals who want to get work done, so there is a good balance of productivity and socializing. Since most other people would also be new to the city, its a great way to explore together. Coliving communities can be found all over the world; for more information, visit coliving.com.

Meet People Online First

Websites & Apps For Meeting People

“Knowing who you are, is the greatest wisdom a human being can possess. Know your goals, what you love, your morals, your needs, your standards, what you will not tolerate, and what you are willing to die for. It defines who you are.”

- Beyoncé -

Specialty Sites For Meeting People

Making Friends in Person

“Right now, someone you haven’t met is out there wondering what it would be like to meet someone like you.”

– Unknown -

Staycations & CoLiving

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